Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Who Are We?

This painting I did is a memory of a painting I had seen when I WAS much younger. i KNOW it is not close enough to the original for any kind of plagerism. It was of horses running, not running from something but just doing it because they are happy. That is how I felt today....happy, i believe because the sun was shining. It was warm enough to sit outside for awhile in my chair. The air was so fresh. Every spring for many years I get the urge to move....where this comes from I do not know/ it really is ridiculous, so would I want to move or want to run, and would it be run to or run from.....theres probably a story in there somewhere....maybe a little therapy, however life is enough therapy for me. Besides I watch Oprah.
She had a really good show on today, it was about how couples are dealing with the recession...pretty much it was keep the communication going and be committed to getting through things together.One woman talked about how she felt when she lost her job, as if she no longer had an identity. I can understand this as when I had to go on a disability due to my illness, I remember the first time someone asked me what I did and I was so ashamed. I have learned alot since then, that i am valuable without me working and its a fulltime workload being at home, especially when you are having a bad day. I also learnt that I don't have a need for material things anymore or the use. Oh I do have my treasures, box of crafts, soapstone, old cards and letters, etc. I realized I was not my job, I was me without it. I did not need a job to identify me.....that was one of the most valuable lessons I could have ever learnt. At any given time I believe we can reinvent ourselves, be whatever we want.....people change, it is their character and their morals that tend to stay the same. What today we see as a hardship may soon be interpreted as a blessing.....See how I can get sidetracked....what does that have to do with the painting....oh yes, I have had people say oh its two horses and a they can see that is beyond me. no gorillas.....horses 3 of them. I guess art is like life, all a matter of interpretation. I hope you have the luxury to figure out whom you really's a lifetime of lessons. I am ready for my next lesson. More when I am not so tired.


  1. First, I'm very impressed with this painting of yours. Next, I have struggled with this exact topic. I used to be a well regarded professional back at home in Baltimore. Since moving here almost five years ago, that fell apart for me. Nothing professional has presented itself. And, it makes me sad. I am not my job, but it was a significant part of my Self definition. And, while I work hard ato redefine, it's not coming easily.

  2. I love the painting, too, and I saw horses right off ... I give up trying to work out the professional identity thing -- I've had 'big time' jobs and 'peon' jobs and it didn't seem to matter how good I was at either, I was still 'just a skirt' -- could be because I've always worked in construction, wherein women are objects, sometimes USEFUL objects, but still just objects. And women are NEVER women, they're always 'girls'. pfffft. What gets me (on any level, in any scenario), still, no matter how much Oprah I watch or how much soul food I ingest, is when people are determined to underestimate me because I'm a woman. lawsie, Toni do get UGLY den!!!

    meanwhile, your post is dead on -- how we learn that who we are is something WE decide, define, hone, alter ... it comes from inside. Even Ms. Holly -- she may not be in the "power suit in a professional arena" but she still embodies the energy, the intellect, the command of the air around her -- because she IS all that without the suit or the conference room ... I think I'll have to go visit her and tell her that.

  3. I can feel for you holly, some days are hard and we want what we had...or maybe miss who we were, and then other days you know exactly why things work out the way they do. I think your just a faboulous woman when i read your blog, am getting to know you and I see you as a powerhouse....if only we always felt like our smiles. right. big hug today. take care. thanks for knowing they were horses. lol

  4. Toni, I bet you could kick anybodys butt. I dont like to be underestimated as a woman either. what is even worse is when I see a woman purposely being a ditz....that drives me crazy.I like that....being in command of the air around her....Those are powerful words. I feel stronger after reading your comments....I was having a no energy day...Big Hug and a thankyou,

  5. Cinner!
    So you know, Sola isn't my dog...he is one of Mr. Author's dogs...he writes Life With Dogs. And, I did the post today as a part of a silly ruse he has going on about said, stick!!!!

  6. LOL Holly, see lots of things escape me when I am tired. I will have to check out his blog. Thanks for clearing it up for me. take care.


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