Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Rethinking My Priorities!

I love these doors for many reasons.
I look at them and I am reminded that life is about choices,
whether your day be good or bad,
or whether we even choose to come out behind those doors.
I worked for 23 years and then when I became ill with Cataplexy,
I became very isolated....Cataplexy is the loos of muscle control
usually triggered by strong emotions. My mostly have been triggered
by laughter. I am doing quite well with it at the moment,
for more info see my Cataplexy page. Because Cataplexy is a symptom
of Narcolepsy I have been prone to Excessive Day Time Sleepiness as well.
So due to this and not changing my lifestyle I have reached an all time
weight high. My problem is that I am not consisted with my efforts.
I know what I am doing wrong and what I should be doing to make 
things right.
When I was working at 250 I could work twelve hour days,
no problem, socialize, was active, full of life.
And then when I got Cataplexy I lost all my independence.
I could not go out alone for I never knew when I would fall or how long
they episodes would last. I could not drive, hardly walk, to put one foot in front of
the other was almost impossible. So I learned to hide behind the doors of my house.
I know it sounds crazy, it was easier, it was safer,
Things have gotten better since my surgeries as far as health wise,
but the weight remains an issue.
When you read this tomorrow I will have made my way out of the house
by myself to something new.
Working a Weight Wise Program
to change my lifestyle before I need to make my decision about
various types of surgeries..
Over two years ago I watched my Dad die
due to heart failure and I vowed I would take care of my health.
That I would not be the one on that stretcher
way too early in life.
I have hid behind these walls, afraid to go out.
My husband has offered to take me,
I have told him no that I need to do this on my own.
I need to use the options that are available for me.
With the help of trained professionals we will set up a plan
for me to follow and work on.
You see you just don't go and have a gastric bypass done,
because if you have not worked on why you got to the way you did,
it won't change just because you had surgery.
Since I have been so isolated and safe in my home in the sense of
I am not afraid of falling, or cars backfiring, or being startled, or seeing
something funny that will trigger a spell.
I have to do everything I can to get back out there,
and the only way is to do these things on my own.
I have been called to this program twice before
and chickened out, yes I  did,
but not this time.
My husband thinks I don't need to change anything about me.
The man is in denial as to health issues that are slowly developing
because of my weight.
We will work through it,
Nurses, Dieticians, Doctors, Occupational Therapist,
Behavioralists, etc. I will be in the best hands I have 
allowed myself to be and I think I would be
doing myself a diservice if I don't work my
hardest to make this happen.. I will be working
with the Dietician on a No Wheat Plan
as it has been very successful for a couple of friends of mine.
I don't want to talk much about this on my blog
but I did want to acknowledge that some things in life are not easy,
My main obstacle right now is getting out the front door
in the morning....
I do fit out the door and I don't want to hide away
behind these doors anymore.
I have to admit I will worry all night
but I know I will be just fine once I get there.
Besides if I am going to sky dive when I am 50,
I better work at this goal,
because I want a healthy life ahead of me.
Thank you for reading,
I admit I could be considered a hermit,
Maybe that is why I find so much to appreciate
with nature and its gifts everyday.
On a lighter note Hubby said to me tonight,
He has figured out how To Have The Happiest Marriage.
So I ask how,
Well we should go out twice a week for dinner.
He will go out one night,
and I on another!
You have to know him with his sense of humor
it was very funny.
May you enjoy your day
and face things
head on!


  1. If you truly go wheat free, you will be feeling so much better and the weight will start dropping off. I have been wheat free six weeks. I have not in any way been dieting or skimping on servings. I have lost twenty pounds. For me, the weight was not the incentive to go wheat free, although I certainly would benefit from losing weight. But I had little energy, and little interest in doing anything. I have done more things and been more active in the last month than I have in years and it just started happening. I don't exercise. I don't have and restrictions. This is what is healthy. I wish the best for you, no matter what decision you make. I walk beside you in spirit.

  2. hehe...your hubby is sweet and funny...what a score...smiles. i am glad you will be working together and will keep you in my thoughts as far as the weight loss...was just reading about that no wheat over at technos...need to look into that...

  3. You have lots of love and support as you take on this challenge for your own well-being, Lovely Cinner. Remember that you are more than just your body and more than just the things that are "wrong" with you !That spirit and huge heart are what will bring you to where you need to be !
    You go, Brave One ! And if you feels scared or weak in a moment, just picture the love you have encircling you...
    Light and LOve !

  4. Best of luck with the Weight Wise Program -- you can do it! Your motivation is good.

  5. I believe in you! I not only cut out wheat and gluten, but I crossed off dairy from my list and meat! I just needed to be healthier- not so much for weight loss, but what I found was how much my energy overall improved! I felt great all day! So good for you for trying something and I think you will see great improvements on how you feel and on your weight as well! Good luck sweetie! One foot in front of the other!

  6. I will be rooting for you on this endeavor. I know that you can do this.
    Your husband sounds like mine...a little snarky but funny. We are blessed ladies, huh?
    Be well and walk out your door to a new view of you. Oma Linda

  7. Hello love - I feel and hear your desperation. Some call that "hitting bottom". It comes at different times for us all. I applaud your honesty and your choices. Breathe........

    I love you

  8. Cindy...As I read your blog, I could tell that you are really ready to make the change. Best wishes to you as you meet each challenge. I know that you can do it. Hugs and smiles to you!!!

  9. It's all about the changes, isn't it, dear Cinner!?
    And then one day, we realize that this is really for real!
    And just between you and me - I think the gluten free might be worth looking into! If you do it, let me know how you like it!

  10. You has a beautifull blog. I'm interesting to stop here today. Remember, dont forget to visit and gives us your comment into my blog. Thanks for share.

  11. You are so brave, Cinner, and I wish you all the best with your new way of eating. I know that you can do it. It may be hard but it will be hard-good and you'll be glad, this I know for sure. I really love your sense of humor about love and especially your husband :) xoO

  12. Olivia so mice to have you stop by. Thank God for a sense of humor. I think that is one thing we both have in common, although I am a much more serious person than he. Thanks for the encouragement, I am doing really good and made out okay. hugs to you.

    Praseyto, Hi nice to meet you. I stopped by your blog, it is very interesting. I was unable to leave a comment on it, but wanted you to know I did come for a visit. take care.

  13. Anne hi I spent two hours with a nurse the other day and boy did she get me motivated, I have been so good I don't recognize myself. The big thing is staying away from the carbs for sure. I am almost no wheat, but I am very excited. My rewatd for myself is to take horseback riding lessons by Spring. by to visit you soon, the week has just got away from me.

  14. Jackie, hi it has been a good week for me for sure. I feel like I am on the right path, which is a good thing, hope you are well and thanks for popping by. hugs.

  15. Gail, you know me through and through. I have made up my mind and have been doing awesome this week almost alarming myself. lol. hugs to you dear one.we will catch up soon.

  16. Linda, they are treasures, but yes if your husband is like mine there is a little snarky, but I know you and I can give it back just as good or better. Lol. Enjoy the rest of Halloween, I am sure Ry is excited for it. hugs to you, thanks for your kind words. hugs.

  17. Vicky hi, great words of advice for me, I have been doing really well since I went Tuesday morning, amazing too how quickly the body can feel some changes. I grew up where it was meat and potatoes every meal for me...those days are now gone. I sure hoping you have been feeling well. Tomorrow I am going to catch up on all the blogs I follow so I will be by to visit. Hugs to you. Your in my prayers.

  18. Debra, thanks so far so good. I saw a cat today unrolling the toilet paper in the bathroom and I thought of your HRH and me asking you what that meant. lol. have a great weekend. take care.

  19. Kim thank you so much, you know the nurse told me I am way too hard on myself and I know she is right....since I have seen her I am doing amazingly well. Thanks for your kind wods and encouragement. You are a dear and make me smile. hugs to you.

  20. Brian I think Techno and James are onto something for sure. I have really cut back on my wheat intake this week and can already notice a difference....and creamer in my coffee, so I cut out the coffee too. lol. have a great weekend.

  21. Techno congratulations on your weight loss and more importantly on the energy. That is what I want...I have really cut back on the wheat so far this week, not completely but almost,,,,so I am very excited as to all the things we will be able to do...hugs to you,,,

  22. You are a very brave and courageous soul and I will be keeping you in my prayers Cindy. I am sure you are on the right track. I admire you :-)

  23. cinner just reading this and sending you well wishes ..you are so positive and honest ..i really respect you and what you are trying to accomplish for your health .. its NOT easy! blessings ELK

  24. I appreciate your candidness and your lovely blog! You have many talents and I know you will accomplish all He choses for you to do in His strength! Many blessings and joy for each step of life's way!


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