I love these doors for many reasons.
I look at them and I am reminded that life is about choices,
whether your day be good or bad,
or whether we even choose to come out behind those doors.
I worked for 23 years and then when I became ill with Cataplexy,
I became very isolated....Cataplexy is the loos of muscle control
usually triggered by strong emotions. My mostly have been triggered
by laughter. I am doing quite well with it at the moment,
for more info see my Cataplexy page. Because Cataplexy is a symptom
of Narcolepsy I have been prone to Excessive Day Time Sleepiness as well.
So due to this and not changing my lifestyle I have reached an all time
weight high. My problem is that I am not consisted with my efforts.
I know what I am doing wrong and what I should be doing to make
When I was working at 250 I could work twelve hour days,
no problem, socialize, was active, full of life.
And then when I got Cataplexy I lost all my independence.
I could not go out alone for I never knew when I would fall or how long
they episodes would last. I could not drive, hardly walk, to put one foot in front of
the other was almost impossible. So I learned to hide behind the doors of my house.
I know it sounds crazy, it was easier, it was safer,
Things have gotten better since my surgeries as far as health wise,
but the weight remains an issue.
When you read this tomorrow I will have made my way out of the house
by myself to something new.
Working a Weight Wise Program
to change my lifestyle before I need to make my decision about
various types of surgeries..
Over two years ago I watched my Dad die
due to heart failure and I vowed I would take care of my health.
That I would not be the one on that stretcher
way too early in life.
I have hid behind these walls, afraid to go out.
My husband has offered to take me,
I have told him no that I need to do this on my own.
I need to use the options that are available for me.
With the help of trained professionals we will set up a plan
for me to follow and work on.
You see you just don't go and have a gastric bypass done,
because if you have not worked on why you got to the way you did,
it won't change just because you had surgery.
Since I have been so isolated and safe in my home in the sense of
I am not afraid of falling, or cars backfiring, or being startled, or seeing
something funny that will trigger a spell.
I have to do everything I can to get back out there,
and the only way is to do these things on my own.
I have been called to this program twice before
and chickened out, yes I did,
but not this time.
My husband thinks I don't need to change anything about me.
The man is in denial as to health issues that are slowly developing
because of my weight.
We will work through it,
Nurses, Dieticians, Doctors, Occupational Therapist,
Behavioralists, etc. I will be in the best hands I have
allowed myself to be and I think I would be
doing myself a diservice if I don't work my
hardest to make this happen.. I will be working
with the Dietician on a No Wheat Plan
as it has been very successful for a couple of friends of mine.
I don't want to talk much about this on my blog
but I did want to acknowledge that some things in life are not easy,
My main obstacle right now is getting out the front door
in the morning....
I do fit out the door and I don't want to hide away
behind these doors anymore.
I have to admit I will worry all night
but I know I will be just fine once I get there.
Besides if I am going to sky dive when I am 50,
I better work at this goal,
because I want a healthy life ahead of me.
Thank you for reading,
I admit I could be considered a hermit,
Maybe that is why I find so much to appreciate
with nature and its gifts everyday.
On a lighter note Hubby said to me tonight,
He has figured out how To Have The Happiest Marriage.
So I ask how,
Well we should go out twice a week for dinner.
He will go out one night,
and I on another!
You have to know him with his sense of humor
it was very funny.
May you enjoy your day
and face things