Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Where did She Go!

Two worlds collide, right and wrong, good and bad. I think it is every parents worst nightmare....How will my child turn out? To me it is amazing, 4 syblings all with such complete differences...While I was growing up, I just wanted to run, get out and make my own life...and I made no bones about it. As soon as I am done school I am outa here. Little did I know as soon as I left, I would get so homesick that I actually moved back. I quit my job in the am, and took the bus that night. I was 17 living in the big city and hated it. So when I got home, my Dad sat me down and said, well since your home, your going to help with combining and hauling grain. Picture me doing the dance of joy....Yeah, yeah, sis boom ba, I was never so happy in all my life...Funny how that was probably one of the best summers of my life. After harvest I got a job at the local restaurant working 6 until 3 in the afternoon.I must have worked there for about 8 months and have some hilarious stories to tell you someday. Then I worked in a bank for about a year, and then off to computer school in the big city. I have to say I have been a city girl every since. When I left home for the second time, I was okay. I think because I was a little older and had learnt some things about the real world. Trust me I had alot to learn about the real world and I was going to learn pretty fast. Lots of lifes lessons have been hard, but I have never felt sorry for myself for some very large mistakes that i have made in my life. Large mistakes that helped to mold me into whom I am today. Somehow I found my way back from what could have been the worst times of my life,,,stronger for all my experiences, have a deep love of life and I was truly living on my terms. I definately had some angels guide me along the way, keeping me safe, helping me to grow up. My one sister said I was always like a camelian, that I could fit into any crowd or type of people, I have to say back then I loved the bad boys. If a guy was in a suit...not for me, construction workers, bikers, truckers, etc. That was a lifetime ago. I was going to live fast and dangerously and no regard for anyone whom had any advise for me. For afterall I was young and smart enough to live my life how I wanted....my poor parents I really did give them a hard time. That was in the eighties and lots has changed since then, as I write this I wonder just where should I start...I think if I were to write a book, I would have to start back at the beginning for it all to make sense. Maybe one day, for now its on hold as right now I am focusing on a much calmer life. Who was that strange girl anyway. Sometimes I barely recognize her. Have you ever felt this way? I would love to hear about it.


  1. My life twenty years ago compared to now are as different as night and day. I cringe at the things I did and the people I must have hurt along the way. However, I realise that all my experiences have moulded me into the person I am today and providing I learn from them then I have nothing to worry about. Who knows, I may feel exactly the same about this point in my life twenty years time from now ... I hope so, It is what makes us all grow into lovely people!

  2. I have no regrets, but yes I too have lived different lifestyles at different times in my life.... I think most of us do and only a few fail to change.

    x Ribbon

  3. I never had a rowdy phase where I was a bad girl.
    I was such a late bloomer..I think I missed out on something "jazzy," but probably not!

  4. I like Eternally Distracted's comment very much. And, I agree with Ribbon, too, because that's the way I feel about my life.

    Given the perspective I have now, if I had some experiences to relieve, I would handle some differently, but I have no regrets. IF we came here and did everything exactly correct, we'd have had no reason to come to Earth for our learning...

    Hugs, Here's to the bad boys...they can teach us good girls a lot.

  5. wow, interesting! Isn't it good we learn from our past? Enjoy your day!

  6. Thanks everyone for your comments. Thank goodness we learn from our pasts, no regrets...just wonder how I could be so different...maybe that was with being younger and the carefree attitude, I am glad whom I have become now. Like I said this is the best time of my life.

  7. the past is always chock full of lessons and it's how we take that and realize it, helps us overcome the bad and keep the very good close to our hearts.

  8. Hello
    So nice to meet you...thank you for stopping by my studio.
    We are having some heavy duty discussions over here.
    My life changed dramatically with each decade for awhile so it feels I have lived 4 different lives... and with that lifes lessons. The greatest thing that comes with age is the self assurance and direction so that you are steering the ship not necessairly life tossing you in any direction it chooses.
    As a post script I have always trusted the Lord with the rudder.
    Blessings to you

  9. Rebecca so nice of you to stop by...i like that...you are steering the ship not necessairly life tossing you in any directions it chooses. I will remember that.

    char, definately we will keep the good. I just about put a recipe in my blog today, on my stirfry I had made. Then I thought no as I might never put another one in....my husband does most of the cooking...he likes to barbecue...so I let him. Take care

  10. You know Cindy??? I think that your post really is what lots of us would relate to.....I know its stirred up old memories of a completely different Kathie in a different era!! I just don't know that Kathie anymore....the things in our childhood grow distant and dim...the things that held us that we followed on a whim....these things so important and precious at the time-have left us quite empty and mostly without fame! To my old life, my mispent youth I say goodbye, to the rest of my secure, stable, maybe boring, growing life, I say hello and embrace it with open arms and a smile!!
    Love you my beautiful friend

  11. Mispent youth and saying goodbye...maybe that is what I am feeling now. I think you hit the kangaroo on the head my Aussie friend, I meant awesome friend. Take care Kathie, How is the hunt for a new place going.

  12. Hey Cinner I think you post hits home for most siblings that first leave home....bitter sweet isn't it when you look back and reflect about your youth and how you lived....I know I reflect all the time...especially now that I'm a Mom and watch my sons grow and become young men. What will they be like will they want to leave home right away after graduation? These are the questions isn't it. :) Great post Cinner


  13. Crista I have to check your blog to see which mountain you climbed today. Hope the heat is not getting you down. Take care

  14. this sound all too familiar. the getting out, doing what i want, when i want, and heaven forbid you offer me something safe, no thank you. yeah, life's different now. but like you, i wouldn't do it any other way...

  15. I sometimes joke that if I knew at 39 I would have became ill that I would have partied more then, No looking back right, I am going to steer the ship.Thanks for dropping by, I always enjooy coming to your site. Take care


Thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment. I value your opinion and your friendship.