Thursday, July 15, 2010

Love Between a Mother and Daughter.

 
She sat in her hiding spot,
hanging her head supported by her hands,
elbows rested upon her knees,
The tears of anquish , blame, anger, saddness,rage and hurt,
rolling down her face like a waterfall runs down a mountain.
How could they have done this to her, how could she have let them,
Did she not yell or scream loud enough,
Did she not fight hard enough,
She could not tell anyone,
then she played the blame game for years,
She was smarter than to get into that car with them.
Her friends told her not too, but she did.
She faced the next year in absolute turmoil,
her parents wondered why their child had changed,
She could not tell them for she was sure her Dad would kill them,
So she held this all in at age fourteen,
She repressed her memories until they were gone,
She later learned in life they are never gone,
All came surfacing back for her when one of them had died,
She wondered was it her fault, for she had thought that many times.
And she cried, and still she told no one.
She told no one until she kept dreaming the same dream 
over and over again,
She had gotten married and she finally told him about it,
and then the dreams stopped for awhile.
She went to a therapist to help her with this,
She seemed to be doing better,
And she learned to forgive herself for not having the sense to have filed charges.
She never told her father,
she told her Mother this year in Spring,
Her Mother asked her where had she been when this had happened,
and why she had not been told before.
She reached her hand to her Mothers and they held each other and cried.
And then my Mother and I walked into the house,
bonded closer than ever before.
......................
I decided to write this because of the bravery of two other bloggers that have shared their stories.
Thank you Sara and Gail.
And to let others know they are not alone, and that it is never their fault.

13 comments:

  1. Cinner, your bravery is staggering. Well done you for finally telling, no matter how many years had to pass. I hope you have now been able to find some peace.

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  2. Cinner, I'm so sorry to hear that!! You told now because finally you are ready for it, and I'm happy for you, hoping it will bring some more relief and healing... You are one of the kind kind people I met here and I find your words in your posts very honest and truthful and that's why I told you the other day that I was grateful for 'meeting' you here. Today I'm even more astonished at your bravery ... lots of love, peace and hugs dear one!

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  3. Cinner, I love the sentence when you say that 'she was smarter than ...' how many of us have made mistakes knowing well that we should not do this or that thing ... sending peace your way ...

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  4. Cinner....you are brave...and I am so sorry that happened to you. It's funny. When I first started reading your other blog....I felt a bond with you. Now I know why....You strenght inspires. Stay strong ok...Hugs to you....Sarah

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  5. you are so strong for sharing this...and there will be others that have gone through this that will be encouraged by you. it should never happen...sorry it did...thanks for being real

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  6. So true! It is not your fault! I too am happy that you are setting yourself free!!!!
    Take courage dearest one...you are so brave. Healing is on it's way!
    Hugging you
    SueAnn

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  7. My heart goes out to the young girl in you Cinner, how frightened she must have been.

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  8. OH CINNER-

    tears fall gently down my cheeks - at your courage and honesty and truth shared - you too have freed others to honor their truth. I love you.

    Gail
    peace and hope.....

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  9. What a terrible burden to live with all these years. Of course it wasn't your fault. Be strong, live free and proud.

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  10. Oh cinner something was taken from you that day and it never should of happened, it was wrong, you were not wrong.......big hugs to you sweetie,........:-)

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  11. where did my (((((Hugs)))) go?

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  12. I am sure this post so beautifully written will help many!! I am sure it was hard to write!! Take care my friend!!

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