Sunday, May 29, 2011

come sit on the bench

We had a lovely weekend,
I had hung up the bird feeder in the back yard.
It used to be my Dads. It was hanging up for about four days
before the little birds spotted it with the seed.
Today I sat out on the bench in the back yard
and watched the goings on  at the feeder.
I must of had thirty birds at one time there Dad,
it reminded me of the times I would come home and we would sit and watch
the birds. Your birds were much more colorful, I guess because you were in the country.
Oh the joy we would both get from seeing the hummingbirds at your feeder.
Do you remember when I said to you, Dad you should just sit back and watch the birds
more often, and you got mad and said how the heck old did I think he was.
Okay he did not say heck, and with that he went off to work in the field.
That was my Dad, hard working and proud.
May 30th marks the two years since he died.
He was taken very suddenly and unexpected from us.
Our love continues to grow for Dad more and more everyday.
I  feel him when I am in my yard, my appreciation for nature comes from my Dad.
I have no words to explain how much I miss him
and how much I realize he was a pillar of strength in our family.
Oh how I wish we could sit and watch the birds together.
So Dad come sit on the bench with me......
I can see your face as plain as day, see the twinkle in your eye,
I can hear you laugh, I can see you raise your one eyebrow,
I can feel the strength from your great big hands,
I can even see your messy hair, I can hear Mom telling you to comb it,
and you would leave it how it was just to annoy her.
Strange the things I have thought in the last two years,
the memories I have remembered, things that I had forgotten.
There are things I wish I had said, and things I wish I had not.
Somehow we manage to get through it, and face each day.
Well I am not going to cry, you would not want me too.
You know this whole dying thing just sucks,
I know it is a part of life, I wish there were a way to prepare one
for these things that knock the wind from under us.
So if you can, come watch the birds with me.
I will be sitting on the bright hot pink bench know the one that made you shake your head.
I love you Dad, now and always!


  1. What lovely memories you have shared with us my friend. Death does suck and is very painful but if we didn't love and care so much for those who have left us then the relationships wouldn't have been so full of love......sending you a big hug.....:-)

  2. Love the image of you sitting on the pink bench watching the birds with your dad! He sits with you!!
    I look at death as a brief separation. We will meet up very soon and will have much to talk about!!
    Hugging you

  3. ((cinner))

    lovely has been 3 years since my MIL passed and i know my wife feels much the same...

  4. Dads can be funny gruff creatures, can't they? My Dad loved nature and animals too.

  5. Lovely pictures. I wish we could have an archway like that. Way too windy here. It picks up the gas barbecue and shoves it far away.

    Your words bring a tear to my eye. I am so glad for you that you had a dad you connected to and loved and knew you were loved.

  6. What a beautiful springy look to your blog first of all- but oh how I relate to this post!! You've written it beautifully and I've had nothing but my Dad on my mind today and this weekend in general. Hugs to you, may your memories be a warm and gentle comfort to you today!

  7. Cinner:
    I know this is an important date for you, so I made a specific trip to let you know that I have not forgotten your Dad and how much he means to you. What you wrote here is exactly how I feel about my father...and all these years later, I still feel the same about his going. Except, now I can think of it without crumbling or crying and I know he would be proud of my moving forward with my life and taking him along with me.

    Just as your Dad is of you...

    Love to you this day, My Friend.

  8. Holly, Thank you so for your kindness today. It means so much that you made a special visit. Moving forward and taking him along with me....I never really thought of it that way, but it is so true. I handled today much better than I thought. I can see your Dads picture in my head today too and think of your posts you have written about him. Thank you for always been the wise one. how were things when you were you Holly.

  9. Vicky thank you, if you are like me there are times when I seem to have him more on my mind than others. like now and fathers day, the holidays....I guess that is normal. The memories do give me comfort, sending hugs and love your way. Hope you are having a good day in light of what you have been facing. gentle hugs.

  10. TechnoBabe, oh man winds to move a barbecue wow. I like our archway. We used it when we got married, then I put it in the yard. probably my favorite spot in the yard for sure. hope you have been doing well. I think of you often and wonder what your up too, if you and James are watching the birds from your window. thanks for making today easier. hugs.

  11. Deb, funny gruff creatures, that sums it up in a nutshell. Your Dad sounds like mine too. lovely memories to have. keep smiling my friend. hugs.

  12. Brian, give your wife an understanding hug for me.
    I hope you had a nice memorial weekend. be around to see you today. smiles.

  13. SueAnn, death as a brief separation...yes one day we will see each other again. I wonder if he combs his hair in heaven. lol. thanks for your kind words making a sad day easier to cope with. hugs to you my friend.

  14. Bernie, I swear you are one of the smartest woman I know, you somehow put things into perspective for me.How have you been Bernie, are you enjoying the weather, I have been loving the sun for sure.
    I think of you often. Thank you for making a hard day easier for me. hugs to you.

  15. Cinner, First thank you for the kinds words about Smokey, people that have animals always have an understanding heart when our loved ones (pets) are sick!
    Loved the words you shared here about your dad.
    He will always be in your heart!

    Margie x

  16. Cindy, that's a lovely memory of your Dad. As you said yourself, he is everywhere, in the wind, in the sun, in the birdie's songs ... he is there with you all the time, he lives through you ... He is proud of you and maybe sometimes he lifts up one eyebrow ... but there is LOVE and in that love he continues to be with you and yours. Of course I understand how hard it is when the physical presence is missing ... sending lots lots of love your way my dear friend!


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