My Imperfect day...Yeah!

After reading a post over at joy Rebel, I have decided I am having an imperfect day,,,,What does this mean? Well I am getting company and usually i have to have things perfect...but I have decided it is staying just as it is. Also yesterday I got a notice from the city that we would not have water all day until after 5...so there went my cooking plans...so just might order pizza. Also wanted to do some laundry today, but now i can't and that is actually perfect. So I am quickly going to run out before 8 am and water some of my flowers....this means everything should be done for me by 8 am....so I have decided my goal today is going to sit and draw before they get here.....I don't know why I stress myself out about having everything look just right....nobody lives that way and afterall it is just my sister and her boys and the new boyfriend...So it is going to be imperfect and why do i even want things to be perfect. where the hell does that come from....anyway the sun is shining, it will be perfect whether I vaccume or not!!!!so there I have talked myself out of a whole bunch of work....yeah....finally some sense....Yesterday I had a doctors appointment at the University...We get to the waiting room and there is a lady with a little tiny bunnyrabbit that was no bigger than her palm of her hand. She was feeding it with a syringe. There was a perfect photo opportunity but I did not have my camera. Anyway one lady was telling her, you should not have brought in the rabbit for sanitary reasons...it was kinda starting to get ugly for a moment but then I got called into my doctors office...Anyway he asked me how I was doing and I burst into tears, then proceeded to tell him about my Dad and how quickly and severe my cataplexy had gotten just because I was off my schedule. Anyway it was a good visit and he tells me it is normal how I am feeling...I swear he is one of the best doctors I have ever had. On the way out of the hospital, my husband and I just got soaked by a sudden downfall that stopped immediately when we got to our vehicle....Anyway I gotta go water my plants b4 they shut the water off....I hope you have a great day and allow yourself to be imperfect! Just sit back and enjoy.

Company is Coming

I am turning into quite the bargain shopper, using coupons, went to a fruit and vegetable store today. I got 4 bags all for 24.00 which really is amazing. I am getting company next week. My two nephews are coming to stay with me, so I am quite excited about them being here. They actually are a really good help to me. We do some fun stuff but they are going to paint some stuff for me and sort through some clutter. I have just not had the energy since I got sick. I don't ask for help as you know it's just much easier to say , everything is fine...My sister knows that some days are harder for me than others and the boys are really good. The following week my niece is coming for a few days...so I am excited for that...we do things like paint each others toes, and we laugh and laugh and she is a good help. We also will take in a few of my husbands ball games as the kids hero is there Uncle! Of course Canada Day is July 1, lots going on in the city....I don't do well in crowds so will see what we come up with. It has been so windy here that the petals on my flowers are just about all off. 2 semi trucks were blown over 2 days ago...we get crazy weather here this time of year....i hope you are all having a great weekend. I am on my way to la la land. Goodnight.

Amazing Women,,,Holly and Toni and many nore

So before I came to blogland I was not too sure on what to expect or why I even wanted to have a blog....but I thought it could be something for me to do when I was having a bad day and could not physically do anything else.Blogland has been much more for me than I had expected. ,The biggest surprise for me is the wonderful caring, kind, giving, understanding people that I have encountered. For some it has been an instant connection...When I went home when my Dad became ill, I missed my morning visits with everyone. I was so busy I had to put blogland on hold for a little while. When I came back home after the funeral, I was overwhelmed by the kindness that has been shown to me...on the comments, a beautiful letter from Toni and today I came home and I had the most beautiful card made from Holly. The card was so Holly, it was homemade, beautiful and stamped with a rory and fiona stamp look alike, her name was signed, the words were beautiful.I guess I have been so touched that these lovely ladies whom I have never had the pleasure of meeting have touched my heart in a way that I can not describe. They were both so thoughtful, the people in their lives are truly blessed. they and others have been my pillars of strength. I Have been holding back my feelings about my Dad, but find I cry about the weirdest things. Example my husband came home with a chocolate homemade pie. In ten years he has never come home with a chocolate pie, I looked at it burst into tears and said This is Dads favorite pie....now why that would set me off I just don't know....Today when I opened Hollys card I had myself a cry, a good cry...I did not feel quite alone as i did earlier in the day...I find I laugh with you, care for you, want health issues to be okay, want you to get jobs, i learn new words like conker, watch your artistic talents be it writing, drawing, painting, photograpy and I can relate to you my friends!I have lots of friends here but they sometimes seem so busy, I tend to put up wall that oh no I am just fine! not tonight, I miss him horribly, we all do, we are all grieving in different ways. Almost a month has gone by and I can't seem to shake that he was right here just a while ago...I have not had many people in my life die. I sure hope I get a grip on these emotions soon or someone is gonna think .....well cinner finally lost it!!!And then I think big fn deal, I can if I need to right....My dad would want us all to be so strong.... Most days I am, but sometimes at night all I see is them doing cpr on him and he was just purple and there was nothing we could do, and it just hit me now...for a control freak I guess I did not do such a good job controlling the situation did I???? Everyone says it gets easier....does anyone know when....Isn't pleasant reading my posts....really makes you want to come back for more....Sorry, better get some sleep...Thankyou all for your kindness. Big Hug to Toni and Holly and Beth cause I was so happy for her today. Goodnight all.

See previous post

Here is that cup of coffee we had this am. read the post below for story

What A Gong Show

A grand day to you all! I have to say that my day has been an absoloutely shit show! We leave the screen open in our bedroom for the cat to go in and out so she can wonder about freely. She always comes back and she usually just stays in our yard...Sometimes the neighbors on either side. They have both said that they don't mind at all...Well anyway this is the second time this has happened to us! It is about 4 am, we are both fast asleep when suddenly all fur, meowing and destruction occur. In came my cat through the screen first, followed by a big old mangy tomcat...whom I believed was going to kill my cat and then have both my husband and I for breakfast....just for fun or something....I sleep with a cpap machine for sleep apnea...so now I have the hose around my neck, I am trying to get this off and my husband is just coming out of his sleep and he says to me"Hon what is happening?,U felt like telling him we were having a party....what is happening...oh great protector get up and help me get this beast of a cat out of the house...Meanwhile there was fur flying, the cats were literally in a ball, I had to get a broom to get them apart!....My bird started chirping as if to say 'What is happening" So now the cats are separated and now I am trying to get the beast out...He had to be 30 lbs of mean cat, okay at least 15.....I open the front door, no can't get him out! So I go through the kitchen to the back door to open it, and there in the kitchen is my husband putting on a pot of coffee....I was all over him like a fat kid on a smartie, What are you doing? Making coffee, we are up so I thought we might need a coffee....I open the back door, thank God the beast ran out!,and there in the kitchen was my cat laying peacefully curled up cleaning herself. My husband says to me, "Good job!", and poof down I go laughing. I must of had five cataplexy spells in a row...so I would try to stand up, then down I go again....see if something strikes me as funny it causes this to happen....It is ridiculous but it is my part of life. So once I settled down, my husband poured a cup of java for me and says , Hon maybe we should close the screen at night! MAYBE?, ummmmmm how does for sure sound to you! So thats how my morning started. Usually it is a little quieter...We then went outside to sit for a bit before he went to work. Had my coffee, and now I have things to do. I hope you have a great day. Have you had a morning from hell? I would love to here about your day? Just don't make your story too funny. LOL. lord now I can't add a picture to my post. would'nt you just know it....I think I need a Do over day!

Swimming Anyone?

Now I have to make sure and say NO this is not in my yard. lol. I sure do wish it was though. This was taken also at the Bouchart Gardens in Victoria, B.C. I can just hear the water splashing in the distance, I love listening to the sound of running water outside....no not in a sink, or tub, but out in nature. The water seems to have a language all its own. If you listen real closely, it sounds like a symphony orchestra. I am a simple girl with simple dreams. With my illness I have taken the time to listen to running water, to sit in the rain, to watch a sunset or a sunrise, to smell the flowers...For awhile I was so upset because I was no longer the person I used to be, active, alive, outgoing, up for anything and suddenly I had limitations..Now I don't feel that way anymore, I go on living sometimes a little differently, I am challenging myself more again and learning that I am right where I am supposed to be...Now I know swimming is out of the question. If I saw myself in a bathing suit that would be enough to cause me to have a cataplexy spell, or I would fall under the water....My friend Neener says she will make sure she pulls me out in time. I think I will sit on a hill watching or have a picnic and a couple of bottles of wine ready for my blogland friends too. I picture Holly, Toni, Beth, Char, Ribbon, Christine,Cam, Kathie,brandi,janet all having a gabfest and laughing and just enjoying the day. One of us would have a great big hat for sun protection, another I think would have a teensy weeny yellow polka dot bikini, some would be toting that pomegranite lemonade, maybe Holly would haave captured Rachel Ray. bETH, Char, Cam could all take pictures, brandi could be our joy rebeller and Janet would probably be making things....I think it would a fab day. I know I have missed some friends...In my mind we are already there, just close your eyes and imagine...do you hear the water....I can, shhhh, I am listening.....

Stay Out of the Water!

This picture was taken at the Bouchart Gardens in Victoria, When my sister and law showed it to me, it made me thing of a lake I had gone to about 20 years ago. My ex and I had stumbled onto by getting lost and ending up in the backwoods in an old car that stalled when we got to the lake. It was about 4 in the afternoon, there were loons in the water and you could hear them calling, the sun was settingt and all over the lake were lily pads with the beautiful yellow flowers. It has to be one of the nicest settings I have ever seen. We had our Chesapeake Retriever with us. His name was Boris. He loved the water and would usually jump in and be in a lake or pond for hours swimming in circles waiting for the next stick we could throw for him to retrieve to us. But not that day, we could hardly get him out of the car...anyway since the vehicle was flooded we decided we would take our rubber boat out and see if we could catch any fish. So off we went out in the middle of the lake...like I said it was just beautiful! We thought something was odd as the dog just sat by the car...It was so peaceful, we did not do any fishing because of all the lily pads...anyway we finally head for shore and when we got out of the boat, I kid you not there were hundreds of leeches on the bottom of the boat....so that was the day I learned if the dog won't go near the water stay out yourself.....Luckily we had none on us, so this beautiful place now gave me the eebie jeebies.,the beater of a car started, thank God...I think we left the dingy behind...another note to self...if there are no people around probably not the most popular place to be....If it was not for those leeches I probably could still be there!Probably waiting for that darn car to start. Lol.

RE; Flowers below!!!!!!

I don't know what happened to my writing today but I had to write, the first and last pic were taken at the bouchart garden by my sister in law when she visited last week. I absolutely love them and want my yard to look like the first pic. The second pic was taken in my yard and identified by Holly as a columbine! The 3rd photo is of a poppy, she said it was huge and she did not know the name of it. I would love to find out...so if anyone can help me with that that would be awesome....My yard is beautiful, just not alot in bloom yet due to our late spring...but as soon as it does I will be posting my own. I am off to my yard to see what I can do out there today. Yesterday was a very low energy day...back with some uuph today! take care.

Surprise, Surprise

Well I had a pleasant surprise today. Because I had been at the farm for so long I had not got all my weeding done...thank goodness because this is what bloomed, firat time since we have been in the house. I have no idea what it is other than I think it is beautiful....so if any of you know what it is that would be awesome to find that out....Can anybody help me? Hellllloooooooo! Thanks

Unknown Creatures!!!!!1

It was the first time to go and see the cows and calves for this lovely little lady that has just turned one. She was very curious and excited,,,,but look at the look on her face, it seems as if she is saying now what the hell is that? We could not get close enough for her to pet any of the little calves and you have to be so careful as the mother cows are quite protective...There was lots of oooing and aaaawing going on. This was the only pic that turned out and I cut off half of her head.....but I guess for once there were no power lines in the pic. If anyone has followed my blog I am like a powerline magnet and there in a far corner or even looming in the foreground will be the line. So this must have been a really good day. It was nice to see the excitement for little precious and maybe next time she can pet them. Uncle John has always taken the nieces and newphews to go see the cattle, this time his son did it and traditions carry on. I hope you have a great Monday. I get my camera back tomorrow so hopefully I get a picture of this strange flower that came up in my garden after 10 years of us living in the house. It was a nice surprise...maybe someone will know the name....I thought it was weed so pulled it every year....lol

Cool Dad

Had to post this picture today. My Dad in a Smart Car....I don't know if he thought it was very smart as the wipers kept going on and off. He had fun in it. It will always be a special memory. Every day seems to bring his spirit closer. He is all around me, within me, surrounds me. Cherish your memoried

My Dad

This is a picture I did of my Dad on paint from the Computer...It's about 80 % accurate. I guess it might be to early to draw him....I wanted to talk about him this fathers day.

It seems so strange today that on Sunday mornig I will get up and would always start my day calling my Dad to wish Him a Happy Fathers Day!...He hated talking on the phone and always did. We would talk about the weather and the cattle, what was new in town. He would always ask when I would be home next. I would ask him about the crops, his dog. Eventually I would tell him I loved him and he would tell me...He never used to do that but in about the last fifteen years it was getting easier. He was born in 1935 and lived until May 30, 2009. My Mom and Dad were married for 47 years....He was a farmer and his father farmed as well as his father....I think that farming gets in your blood. Nothing made him happier than listening to it rain, or showing a rainbow to his children, or the smell of fresh air after a rain. My Dad loved to feed the birds, especially the humming birds, canaries and yellow finch, chickadees and many more. One thing about our family we had 3 meals together every day. we always had that time together!He was a man stronger than an ox, he was our protector, he was our provider, he was our guidance, he could be tempermental but there was always a lesson. One thing I remember most about my father were his hands, they were huge and we just felt loved and protected. Occasionally trouble would brew and we would just let him simmer down. There was never any doubt that he loved us. He had high expectations of us. He instilled us with our values, beliefs, strong personalities, etc. He also taught us life lessons, that you cant keep all the cows for pets, that there are consequences when you lock up a badger in the chicken coop.One of his things was the later we were out...if we missed curfew well then the sooner we got up. My grandfather died approximately 25 years ago. EVERY day Dad would go for a visit at his Moms, get her mail, have a coffee and make sure she was okay. He was a good man. He farmed until the end except for the last couple days. Not everyone can say they did what they wanted, he did. His love for nature and outdoors, his family, his animals made his life very rich and rewarding.....


This year I will tell him I love him. I will tell him how glad I am that he is no longer in pain. I will tell him how we are taking good care of Buster. I will tell him for the most part Mom is doing okay. I will tell him how much I miss him. I would tell him how blessed I was to have him as my Dad! I would forgive and forget any disagreements or dissapointments...I would sit and hold his hand and there would be just a moment when we both knew that we are all okay, and just for a moment our lives would be as they should be, as they were......I don't have my Dad,,,,but I have my memories....they seem to grow stronger everyday.....All I know is that I really really miss him! Cherish all the moments you can spend with friends, family, loved ones....Some day you will probably feel like there just was not enough time. Forget the small talk, tell them what is really important!.........IF ONLY, there were just once more.

Did You Like School

The other day my eleven year old nephew told me he Hated school. I was very surprised because he has always loved school. He has always excelled, so it seemed very unusual to me. I asked him why and he said, "The teacher always yells at the kids!" He then proceeded to tell me he was pretty sure that she was not qualified to be a teacher! First of all I was shocked that this had come out of an 11 year old boys mouth! Anyway I talked to my sister about it and she has said that he has not liked her all year. He only has until the end of June and then he will not have her again......I got to thinking how someones attitude can effect the outcome of a child, whether he continues to like or dislike school...because of one teacher....We explained to him that there are different teaching styles, and that maybe she was having a bad day....he is sticking to his belief....now me not having any children...how do you think we should have handled this? Do you have a story, I would love to hear it. I always had great teachers except for one physed teacher whom insisted I jump the hurdles....My short legs are not designed to be jumping hurdles. In hindsight I now know he just wanted me to try....At 45 I have never ever jumped a hurdle....I suppose that is a failing grade! LOL...Kidlettes today,,,not qualified.

An Angel Among US.

Most of us know Toni from seaweed and Gardenias. If you have not been to her blog...please drop by for a wisit. She ia an amazing artist. I made this award for her as she definately deserves it....
Yesterday I recieved the most beautiful envelope sent first class in the mail. I knew it was Tonis work before I even opened the envelope. My sister in law has borrowed my camera to go to her sons grad or I would be showing you pictures of the envelope and the letter. So I opened the letter and held in my hand the most beautiful page with a face of a lady in the corner, words fragile handle with care, some greenand brown trees. On it also was the most beautiful writing. I know my Grandma would say what beautiful penmanship she has...the words of the letter were the best part of all. Here was a lady that I have known briefly and she took the time out of her day to offer her support and her shoulder to lean on if I needed her in any way at all to help me get through the loss of my father. She signed the letter, With great sorrow and affection, Toni....

I believe that there are angels among us that we sometimes come accross. She must be one. Toni I will cherish this letter more than I ever can express in words and more importantly I will cherish you, your heart and your kindness!

It's Like Riding A Bicycle!!!!!

So the other day when I was talking about starting an exercise regime...I know I joked about it. My husband read my post, laughed and that was the end of it. Not so!
I had explained that I had never had my own bicycle...I had learned how to ride a bike on the farm growing up, but it has to be 25 years since I was on a bicycle! So last night my husband went to play ball in the over 50s senior league, he came home we were outside having a nice talk before bed. I came into the house and there in my livingroom was, are you ready for this?....a hot pink mountain bike! I was so excited that I screamed, started to laugh and fell over due to my cataplexy....Once I settled down well I was like a little kid, outside I went, on my bike riding around my yard, just about running over my dogs and then I must have shifted gears and got going to fast, started laughing and down I went again right into the edge of my flowerbed. That was another Cataplexy spell, but I did not care! I felt alive, my husband and I were laughing....it was so great to think of nothing else, and to think I joined the sisterhood of the purple bicycle yesterday too...please click on the pic on my sidebar for details.....So that was yesterday. I awoke this am to pains down the front of my legs and the back of my legs....Great no paain, no gain they say. Who came up with that I wonder....After lunch I took my bike Precious out for a short ride...no falls today as I had a good rest first! Tonight I am off to get a helmut so I can protect myself....just in case I fall again! I gotta go shine her up just like they do with their Harleys, okay so now I am in a fantasy...note to self...buy a harley sticker for precious, and a helmut!

I usually use my own pics, this was taken off a clipart site of different bikes, it did not say whom had taken the pic.

Ray Of Sunshine

Look at this lovely child! She is so beautiful. I got to hold her when I was home at the farm.She was like a ray of sunshine with great big blue eyes that looked at us all in wonder. There is nothing like a child to remind you of the circle of life! All goodness and innocence. It is a reminder to me of what we all are in the beginning. We learn, we live, we die, and there will be another day, new wonders, new loves and new life!

My Day

This is an antique bedframe that I have put in my yard., The idea was to have a bed of flowers. They are coming, I had some beautiful miniature roses that have come up for the last few years....but this year no, because of our strange weather with our late spring and then snow. I was doing some work in my yard today. Amazing how overgrown things can become. Now a storm is blowing in and we are expecting thunder and lightening. I heard on the news that there have been over 70.000 lightening strikes already, most of which are up North. I love listening to a storm and seeing the sky light up all around you. Both of my dogs are afraid and bark and bark...so some work is needed there. I am a big dog whisperer fan so hopefully I can learn something. Today in my yard I played with my new power washer and a happy gal was I. I was on a cleaning frenzy let me tell you...thing to note. Do not use full blast on the vinyl siding...how was I to know. Anyway I am settling back into my routine and again on a schedule...oh the things we do to maintain our health...tomorrow starts an excercise regime...i will start by running my fingers over the keyboard, followed by doing arm lifts with my cup of coffee and I guess it could all be uphill from there. LOL. Actually I am going to try to be serious about it....but then its not January and no resolutions need to be made....I guess I will not make any hasty decision as afterall I have been thinking about it for oh...maybe 30 years. Are you a procrastinator like me with this issue, I would love to here your stories. Have a great day all, visit you soon.

Down the Road

My Dads Best Friend, Buster went everywhere with my Dad, they had a system all set up....my Dad would drive the truck, beep the horn if the dog needed to turn, beep the horn twice if he needed to follow the truck, etc. While I was at the farm every morning I would go and check the cattle to see if any new calves had been born and always with me was the faithful friend, Buster. That was probably the most relaxing time for me. I got to drive the old truck on the farm as long as I was not too tired...so I felt like I had some of my independence back. Everyday was a new adventure. Buster always catches something....be it a gopher or a mole etc. Of course he always wants to show you his prize....Just what I need first thing in the am. When I was brushing him I found some woodticks on him. They can get huge. Anyway although I had to leave buster at the farm. I know there is no place in the city for a dog like him. Hopefully he can stay on the farm. He would be a duck out of water any where else. I brushed him a few times and I swear it was like shearing a ship for my aussie friends....although I have never sheared a sheep. His hair was like mohair and every time I thought I was done, oh no more needed to be brushed. Anyway life goes on, buster continues on his daily excursions, I am back at my petworkd here and all is well. I am sure farther down the road we will find understanding as time goes on.

Fruit Trees In Bloom

When I was home at the farm, the fruit trees were in bloom, some of them anyway. Not only did they smell great, and they looked beautiful. My dad had apple, pincherry, saskatoons, currents, pin cherries, rasberries, strawberries, rhubarb...He would pick and pick and bring them to the house until Mom would finally say no more! We all have memories of us picking berries out in the wild. He was sure proud of his trees. He had others that I am now just unable to think of! People from our community would come and pick, he let people know when they had enough, that they were free to come and take whatever they could pick. I have memories from when I was really small to now, when dad and i would sit on our little benches picking together. He was always glad to have one of us with him....and we were thrilled to spend time with him, although he always said he was a cleaner picker....and you know he was!

I am back

Hi everyone, I am back at home now. My yard is in bloom, the grass needs cutting, the weeds pulled and it's a reminder to me that life and time wait for no one. Some of you are aware that my father has recently passed away, what was supposed to be a simple hip surgery escalated into our worst nightmare. I now know how it feels to lose a parent,,,I don't think you have any idea until it happens to you, there is such a feeling of loss...maybe because it was so unexpected...we are not certain why he was taken from this world, but we do have peace in the fact that the intensive care unit nurses treated him with such wonderful care. We also are blessed in the knowledge that he is now in a better place. I don't think he will think the food is as good in heaven as my mothers! lol. My Dad was a farmer and he was 74. He worked on the land until the very end...how many people really get to do what they love to do. Our community was so supportive and we had a chance to reminisce about his life with alot of family and friends. We heard lots of stories we had not known before. I will treasure them, as I will treasure every moment I had with my Dad. I stayed with my mom for about 14 days and she has now gone to my other sisters. She is stronger than she knows! I guess we all are as each day we carry on, forward as we are meant to. My Dads dog was heartbroken, I took him daily for his runs...he was my connection to my dad. His spirit seems to have perked up some but I know he misses my Dad too. Hopefully our family can stay strong and remember the bonds that tie us all together. So I am okay, somewhat troubled and overwhelmed by the events since may 30. I hope we can all find peace and faith when we need it.

On to happier thoughts, I have missed you all and will be in touch with all very soon. Take Care for now! cinner!